I must confess that I watch Super Nanny from time to time. I am sure my fascination with ineffective parenting is because my kids are now grown. Aside from some of the absurd family dynamics, I am really fascinated with the process of teaching a child to apologize. There is a pattern. First, there is a refusal to acknowledge what went wrong or apologize. That is followed by a less than sincere “sorry”. After painstaking practice, which seems to take weeks, the child finally learns that listening to what was wrong and a prompt apology leads to a happy family.

I have heard many adults say that they will not apologize if the problem is not their fault. This is a detrimental mindset for someone in customer service. Maybe you don’t feel sorry. Or, have never apologized to your spouse, customer or co-worker. Maybe it feels uncomfortable.

A successful business needs a strategy for apologizing for what a customer perceives to be a problem or mistake. A professional shouldn’t be child-like when it comes to apologizing.

Let’s take a look at the definitions for apology and the word sorry.
Apology- is a statement of regret. Sorry- feeling regret or pity

We don’t have to feel someone’s pain, but we do need to acknowledge what our customers tell us regarding what happened and how they feel about it.

You have a child-like approach to apologizing if:
1) You respond with a defense
2) You suggest the person is lying
3) You apologize too late in the conversation
4) You apologize too often
5) Your customer has to ask for an apology
6) You can’t say the words “I am sorry”
7) You have a sarcastic attitude
8) You speak with a monotone voice
9) You talk over the other person or interrupt

Four Key Ingredients In An Effective Apology

1) Listen to the other person before you speak
2) Give a statement of regret, the apology, for something specific.
3) Use polite wording. A blunt “sorry” can be offensive.
4) Include the person’s name in your apology.

“Mary, I am so sorry that you had to call us multiple times about your service.”

Apologizing doesn’t come naturally for many of us, but that doesn’t mean we stop the training process. Practice makes perfect.

“An apology is saying the right thing after doing the wrong thing.”